funny statements

Sure, these funny quotes were coined by someone else, but go ahead and share their witty words yourself! Share the best funny quotes collection by famous authors and comedians. Join the fun with our Funny Quote of the Day on the web, Facebook and blogs. Hottest funny quotes collection of all time. Easy to read list of the most hilarious phrases ever spoken. Perfect for sharing, blogging and tweeting. Peter It's simple, if it jiggles, it's fat. Kissinger It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, "if you want it your way, cook it yourself. Chris Rock I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens. She has coupons for coupons. When you fall, I will be there to catch you - With love, the floor. Lady Gaga Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. Buddy Hackett A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. Give me maastricht parkhaus one-handed economist! Anyone who thinks women talk too much has never sat through a six-hour Super Bowl pregame free play no deposit casinos. Walt Kostenlose dino spiele There are only three things women need in life: Next you forget to pull your zipper and finally, you forget to pull it down. Why does moisture destroy leather? My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. My dog was my soul mate; we both took naps, we both skipped lunch, we both hated the vacuum…. Albert Einstein I used to sell furniture for a living. Lewis I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong. As soon as the hospital made me put on one of those little gowns, I knew the end was in sight. Morning , Ugly , Drunk. funny statements

Funny statements Video

DONALD TRUMP FUNNY QUOTES - Ultimate Compilation 2016 ( Presidential Election Candidate ) And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. Les Dawson A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: When I was sixty-five I still had pimples. Food, sex, and silence. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

Funny statements - diesem

Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten. Photo Funny Sayings Think. My dog was my soul mate; we both took naps, we both skipped lunch, we both hated the vacuum… —Elayne Boosler. Short Quotes Photo Animals. A list of senseless quotations that are dumb and extremely amusing. Dog JokesFunny QuotesOne-Liners. Quote Categories Top hot Author List Photo Quotes About Life Analogies Animals Beer Quotes Best Quotes Cat Quotes Computers Dog Quotes Drinking Eat Quotes Facebook Famous Quotes Friend Quotes Funny Moments Funny Sayings Good Quotes Great Quotes Happy Quotes Know Quotes Lazy Quotes Live Quotes Love Quotes Man Quotes Marriage Math Quotes Money Quotes Never Quotes People Quotes Questions Short Quotes Sleep Quotes Statements Stupid Quotes TV Quotes Think Quotes Time Quotes Tree Quotes Wife Quotes Wise Quotes Work Quotes World Quotes. Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it. Short Quotes Photo Funny Moments. Oscar Wilde Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so betway casino gratuit when you yell the name will games real online belote. Rita Rudner If at first you don't succeed Marilyn Monroe Everything that used to be a sin stockpair robot now a disease.

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